How to Get a Girlfriend (When You're a Terrifying Monster)

How to Get a Girlfriend (When You’re a Terrifying Monster) by Marie Cardno is a fantasy romance novel that follows Trillin, a creature from the ‘Endless Dimension’ with the ability to change her appearance at will, and shows how her life is changed with the introduction of Sian, a researcher/witch who wants to discover more about Trillin’s dimension. This book is a wholly immersive experience, and felt as if I were watching a film, with great action, romance, and clever quips scattered throughout.

The Endless Dimension is more than just a dimension—it is a being. One being, who has fragments that sometimes split off, but are always part of a bigger creature, and are therefore incapable of thinking for themselves. Trillin is an incredibly powerful exception to this rule. The Endless, as a rule, wants to ‘own’ everything - which, granted, is easy to do when it is everything - and so when Sian finally makes it into the Dimension, it is interesting that she isn’t immediately devoured by a piece of it.

Readers are able to witness an unlikely, unsteady relationship developing between two creatures who have never quite seemed to fit in their home worlds. However, through their meeting, Sian and Trillin begin to discover that maybe it wasn’t the world, or themselves that was the problem—it was who they were braving their world alongside.

Cardno expertly builds the Endless Dimension in this novella, and you are quickly able to understand the workings behind this world - which are so imaginative and intriguing that you thirst to learn more. The Endless Dimension is an extremely unique concept and I do believe that Cardno has done it justice. She perfectly paints her protagonists as otherworldly, unknown and grotesque, and yet still relatable to the reader. Yes, I may not be a creature with tentacles who can change their appearance at will, and yet somehow, I can still see myself in that creature. The inner monologue and thoughts of Sian and Trillin feel real, and just add so much to an already amazing story.

The story did leave some to be desired: because it’s a novella, it felt very rushed and therefore some moments weren’t quite as in-depth as the reader demanded. However I am sure that if I had had more time in this world it would have been perfect! This book definitely could have blossomed into a full-length novel, as a novella simply didn’t do it justice. However, I was quickly rooting for Sian and Trillin and their relationship throughout the book, and this left me on the edge of my seat for the majority of my read.

This novella is a very interesting read, and is perfect for anyone looking for a quick fantasy with LGBTQ+ tropes. This nail-biting, action-packed, forbidden romance truly had it all!